Who Am I? Learning to Know Yourself

Our relationship with this world should be built on true knowledge. How can I understand who I am? Where can such knowledge be found? The Vedas are its source. They reveal the secret that all living beings are one in their nature, and therefore equal: samo ’haṁ sarva-bhūteṣu (Bhagavad-gita 9.29).

We are one in that we live, we are aware, we feel, we experience emotions. Yet within this oneness there is variety, born of the natural individuality and uniqueness of each of us. Asking the question “Who am I?” and turning the gaze deep within, a person becomes aware of his individuality. He understands that there is no second such “I” anywhere in creation. Everyone senses his own uniqueness. This is a simple meditation. Thinking calmly about yourself, you can understand: I am, I live, I am aware of myself and of the world. This sense of one’s own existence never leaves a living being.

What follows may seem technical and heavy with terminology. But whoever understands what this article is about will no longer have to suffer.

Everyone is a unique person, and yet all is one

Our true essence, the awareness of ourselves as living, is called atma in the Sanskrit scriptures. Yet this is far from the only word the Vedas use for a living being. For example, the word jiva, which bears an obvious resemblance to the Russian zhivoy (“alive”), is a synonym of atma. The Vedas confirm that every living being is an individual person with his own unique features. In English the word atma or jiva can be rendered as living being, soul, consciousness. The Bhagavad-gita (2.12) says that every living being exists eternally and that every living being is an individual.

Although the atma is unique, it is still a particle of the complete whole, a particle of one single universe. All that exists is an absolute unity, as the famous Vedic mantra found in several Upanishads declares:

oṁ pūrṇam adaḥ pūrṇam idaṁ
pūrṇāt pūrṇam udacyate
pūrṇasya pūrṇam ādāya
pūrṇam evāvaśiṣyate

The word purnam in this text points to the unity of all that exists, the Absolute Truth. This mantra says that everything that exists is the Absolute Truth and that nothing exists outside it. Nothing is ever diminished from it. It always remains the complete whole.

The scriptures contain a great many such statements. On them rests the meditation on one’s oneness with the surrounding world. In this way one can truly understand who I am and what I am doing in this world.

Characteristics of the atma, the soul

Thus the Vedic philosophical view of the living being unites two seemingly contradictory ideas—oneness and variety. Each of us is unique, yet all of us are particles of one single universe.

The second chapter of the Bhagavad-gita gives the characteristics of the atma: eternal, indestructible, immeasurable, inconceivable and so on. The atma does not die when the body dies. The metaphysical teaching of the Upanishads calls the atma by the word ashcharya, which means “wonder.” The Gita (2.29) also says that people look upon the soul and speak of it as a wonder (ashcharya-vat).

The word “metaphysics” is applied to phenomena that lie beyond the reality accessible to our senses. Everything that goes beyond sense perception is called wondrous. The part of the Vedas called the Upanishads describes a reality that lies beyond the range of human sensory abilities. This means that the Vedas describe wonders.

The true essence of a person, the atma, is also the subject of the Upanishads. It too is a wonder. This means that knowing oneself by way of experiment and logic is not so easy, because human sense experience and logic are imperfect. Logic and the senses are fundamentally different in nature from the atma. It is like water and oil. That is why it is impossible to know oneself by material means. It can be done only through the scriptures, as the Vedanta-sutra (1.1.3) says: shastra-yonitvat, “The scriptures are the source of understanding the Absolute Truth.”

Therefore, to realize oneself, one has to turn for help to the Vedas, in particular to the Bhagavad-gita, the Upanishads and the Puranas, which reveal the nature of the atma. By regularly studying these works, attending lectures on these subjects and applying the instructions of the Vedas in life, a person gradually becomes free from everything inauspicious and attains a bliss that nothing can compare with. He gains the self-evident experience of knowing himself as the soul, the atma. When the joyful realization of oneself as the eternal soul comes, all doubts about the validity of the Vedic injunctions fall away.

Happiness is the main proof that the soul exists

It is precisely the happiness a person gains in the process of self-realization that is the main proof of the existence of the atma. This happiness makes the process of knowing oneself supremely practical. That is why in the Bhagavad-gita (9.2) the metaphysical teachings of Vedic literature are called the king of all knowledge, the most secret of all secrets, the purest, transcendental and practical. The same verse says that realizing these truths is immensely joyful.

In other words, happiness is the best proof that the Vedic teachings about the atma are authentic. So if a person studies the Vedas and becomes happier and happier, he is on the right path.

If someone who studies the Vedas has no happiness, that is a sign of a failure in the program. It means he is doing something wrong.

Two “I”s live in each of us

The Vedas say that in this world the eternal atma is covered by sheaths and takes on many roles: I am a son, I am a father, I am a neighbor, I am a vegetarian, I am Ukrainian and so on. In Sanskrit this role of the atma, its covering, or secondary “I,” is called ahankara, which translates into English as “false ego” or “false self.” In other words, it is the body of the living being.

To give an example, the atma can be compared to an actor and the ahankara to his role. An actor constantly has to play different roles. In the same way, the unchanging atma keeps changing its roles. The Vedic scriptures teach that the ahankara (the role) is different from the atma (the actor). Although both are “I,” the atma (the actor) is the unchanging “I,” while the ahankara (the role) is what is always changing.

Thus, to live happily in the great play of this world, one needs to know the particular features of one’s own ahankara and atma, as well as the features of the ahankara and atma of those around us. This is called knowing the world. It is exactly this kind of knowledge that the pages of the Vedas contain.

The permanent “I” is true, the changing “I” is false

The key to understanding the difference between the atma and the ahankara is to understand the categories of permanence and change.

The physical body of a living being is one of the components of the ahankara. It too changes all the time: childhood, youth, old age. Thin today, fat tomorrow, healthy, sick. Every moment the body undergoes changes. The physical body is different from the living being itself (from the atma), and so we say: “My hand, my leg, my head, my body.”

The mental body, which is called the mind or character, is also one of the components of the ahankara. The criterion is the same—changeability. A person’s character, mood and thoughts are all subject to transformation and constantly change. Now a person may be showing kindness, and a little later he is beside himself with rage. This second he is feeling joy in the company of friends, but after a call from his boss at work he is saddened. Here he is thinking about work, and a few moments later his thoughts are absorbed in the repairs that need doing at home. All these are transformations of the subtle body; they belong to the category of ahankara, the false “I.”

Vedic knowledge is the best help in knowing oneself

Acquiring true knowledge begins with understanding that in this world the sense of “I” changes depending on whom a person is relating to. For example, when a man is at his parents’ home, he is in the mood of a son. Who am I? I am a son. He behaves according to this role. Moreover, feeling oneself a son of one’s mother and a son of one’s father are already different from each other. So a person relates to his mother in one mood and to his father in another. When this man leaves his parents and comes home to his wife, his “I” takes on the role of a husband. I am a husband. But when he meets his children, his ego is already in the mood of a father (I am a father). At work I am a subordinate, a boss or a colleague; in a shop I am a customer; in a car I am the driver of a Mercedes or a Lada, and so on. This happens to everyone, all the time. In this world a person’s “I” (ahankara) is constantly changing; he is constantly playing roles.

Vedic knowledge helps a person understand his own inner world and the inner world of the people around him, and this opens the gates to happiness. Knowing one’s inner world, or self-awareness, is precisely the knowledge of the ahankara and the atma.

The scriptures reveal the nature of the universe and its laws. Therefore it is best to accept the authority of the scriptures as the guide in one’s life, and also to regularly receive instruction from wise people who have realized the Vedas. Without this it is impossible to become free from suffering and attain true happiness. The pages of Vedic wisdom (the Upanishads, the Vedanta-sutra, the Bhagavad-gita, the Mahabharata, the Puranas, the Manu-samhita, the dharma-shastras, the artha-shastras and so on) set out the real laws of nature to which we are all subject. Knowing these laws makes it possible to follow them. Ignorance of these laws, in turn, does not free anyone from responsibility, which shows itself as suffering.

Therefore, to become free from suffering, one should regularly study the laws of nature described in the Vedas and apply this knowledge in one’s life.

One should understand this simple truth: suffering is simply the result of ignorance of the laws of the universe. There are no other causes. Therefore a sensible person will study the laws of morality set out on the pages of the scriptures. In this way he will realize himself and become happy.

Om Tat Sat